It came from outer space.And it was corn. And Reynolds Wrap swore you could cook it with microwave energy. Because micro-waves can't penetrate aluminum foil. But doesn't it throw sparks? Even from this duct-taped chicken?
Back in '79 no one thought so. And I can only assume that they were talking about their new pacemaker while cooking 'Stirrable Ham Stew' under foil on the corded telephone to their cousin, Shirl.
I've been hanging out with some cool cats after hours.Anyone else read this bio? It really is swingin'. And it'll drive you to drink - in a good way. Inspiring the return of Tipsy Tuesday, we all have Sammy Davis, Jr. to thank - and his true love. White Lady 2oz Dry London Gin 1/2 oz Cointreau 1/2 oz Lemon Juice 1 egg white
What's a cranberry to do in their off season? Well, looky here...They pose. And sculpt.They surf.And it's all in here. If they only knew.
How did you prep your robust, ruby-red fruity friends last week? I got mine sauced.
Cranberry-Orange Relish 1 Bag fresh cranberries Zest and juice of 2 medium oranges 1/2 Cup water 1/2 Cup sugar [more to taste]
Dissolve sugar in water and orange juice. Add zest. Add cranberries and boil until skin pops [ouch - those poor little fun-loving tarts]. Simmer for 7 minutes - until sauce thickens. Serve chilled or room temp.
Tasty with our without turkey. I'd spoon it on toast.
Happy Thanksgiving Eve, all! From me & Pilgrim John.
I hope your apron is tied tight -- there's lots of slinging to be done in the kitschen over the next 24! I'm thankful that I get to put my feet up -- we're about to hit the road for the holiday. And I'm thankful that you still check in from time to time. And to show my appreciation, I'll be posting all through the holidays!
Enjoy your family this weekend --- see you sooner than you think!
Okay. One of the reasons I've been out of the kitschen so much as of late is my new diet & exercise regime. Essentially, I've been opting to dance my ass off at Jazzercize [talk about retro, right?] and been trying my damnedest to avoid one more beer, one more cookie, one more carb of choice. Well, Nutella nonwithstanding.
So far, I've been pretty half-assed. Heavy on the Jazzercize, light on the healthy eats. So today, I had an hour to burn, a cute blonde helper in an apron and this recipe from the Cheeky Kitchen for baked pumpkin donuts [you're going to have to click for this one, friends, I'm so annoyed I don't want to take the time to type the recipe - ugh].
I love glaze. I love donuts. I love fruity, spicy squash. What could possibly go wrong when I transformed this delicious dough [and Marge & I ate many small bites of this in the raw]:
Into this flat-ass donut?
[girth DOES matter - such is life]
A chewy, crusty, one-dimensional donut. Where did I go wrong? I did learn a lesson from the first batch and pulled the second go-round out ahead of the timer so I could trade the crunch for a cushion-y texture [and so I could treat my fresh mama friend Lesley to a few]. The flavor of the pastry is tasty, and the buttermilk glaze is to die for in a KrispyKreme way. But next time, screw baked. It's a Fry Daddy for this mama.
Okay. So there are oodles of reasons/excuses for not blogging so much as of late: the kids, balancing the avon/freelance/creative sources of income biz, the weather, books, and my obsession with sneaking spoonfuls of this blissful blend:How do you take your Nutella?
[psst...next week I'll be back. promise. with tomatoes.]
I'd love to use my wit in words for you! With years of marketing and copywriting experience equivalent to a baker's dozen, I've likely got a recipe for smart copy that will win over even your biggest business critic. E-me at kitschenfeast@hotmail.com
Macabre Kitsch
[original humor & original art by my friend dally]