WTF?!? Friday. Stacked.

WTF are these five funky servings of? And are we honestly expected to believe that sauce with a sheen not unlike Charlie will enhance the layers of gastro-gelatinous flavor?

Who did this? And why?

xs and os

WWDD?!

What
Would
Donna
Do?
...if she were to juggle full-time family and a full-time job?

[she looks a little clueless - and a little toasted - here]

I'm damn near Donna - and I'm about to find out. I'll be wearing my pearls at the office instead of at home when I go back to work this week. It's been a charming 8 years keeping the coffee hot, the husband's slippers in hand, and the children out of mischief. But I'm looking forward to life's hairpin-turn.

the nightmare before kitschmas

I'm embarrassed to say that after living in KC for over 14 years, this is the first time I've laid eyes on the most disturbing display of kitsch in the metro - it's been lurking in our fair city for decades. And I love it.

Like any life-changing event, there are no words for the Falmouth House -

He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake.

He knows how to frighten you into believing...

Gingerbread is a hoot!

So the Ninjabread Men cooky cutters were sold out - again. No worries. It gave me an excuse to feather our cooky jar with gingerbread owls this year!

It's the most won-der-ful time of the year...

Time to dust the flour off of this -

& mix up the dough for these -

What's on your cooky sheet this weekend?

WTF?!? Friday: Just Smurfy

WTF popped over the side of the muffin cup this morning?! I don't know, but judging by the slabs of butter, this 'shroom cap is going to need a little something on the side to pull it down your gullet.

Happy Friday.

Tipsy Tuesday: Serve Wine as a Beverage!

The good book [The Good Housekeeping Cookbook (c)'63] really has some stellar ideas when it comes to wining and dining. Did you know that -

- Wine adds a decided zest to cooking?
- Wine adds the master touch, the "French atmosphere" to many desserts, especially cut-up fruit?
- Soups such as oxtail, lentil, etc. taste better if dry or medium sherry is added?
- Wine is as easy to serve correctly as tea or coffee?
- It's perfectly correct to serve any wine any time you wish? [to which I absolutely concur!]

Can you imagine the test kitchen getting tipsy deciding which vino is worthy of the coveted Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval? Undoubtly, slim cigarettes were being smoked in tandem, and some Esquivel was spinning on the record player.

Here, have a listen - and a cocktail - I insist!

In lieu of a recipe, I offer up GH's parings for your "more formal" holiday feasts - so you can swill in style:

With oysters: Chablis or champagne
With soup: pale sherry or dry Maderia
With fish: champagne or dry white table wines
With entrees: claret
With roast or game: Burgundy
With sweets: champagne or sweet sauterne
With cheese: port, sweet sherry or Maderia

Or, if you're more like me, you're more likely to uncork some three-buck chuck. Cheers!

Holiday Housekeeping

Ready to wow a crowd? Provide nibblers and dippers for fabulous friends and corrupt coworkers? Find out what the elusive - and savvy - Susan would construct in her kitchen on such occasions?

Me, too. That's why I picked up a copy of the Good Housekeeping Cookbook {c}'63 for a dollar on my antique/flea pilgrimage [hey, it was just Thanksgiving] on 'First Friday' this weekend in Kansas City.

I'll be back as soon as I page through - promise.

Go forth. And Gobble.

That's an order from Pilgrim John.

Shepherd's Pie. In Technicolor.

Nothing holds color like frozen mixed vegetables. And nothing brings out their Technicolor dream of bold orange, yellow and green like a generous helping of ketchup.

And - as I learned the hard way - nothing brings Ben and Margie's gag reflexes forward like the trashy American-style "traditional" shepherd's pie.

I believe the entire Roy G Biv spectrum is represented in this casserole. Don't you agree?

Next time, I'll opt for herding the family to McDonald's.

WTF?!? Friday: Loafing

Wow.

What's sandwiched between these albino slices of, um, bread? And what is serving as the fluffy insulation? The purity of this luncheon loaf is questionable - without question. I wouldn't pull this out at the bridge party until the ladies had polished off a pitcher of Long Island iced tea.

Tipsy Tuesday: Ouch!

This swell swill is the bee's knees!

"Come on, Danny. Grab the brandy and get jiggy with that outta-sight shaker!"

Stinger
Combine in a cocktail shaker:
1 cup shaved ice
1 jigger brandy
1 jigger white creme de menthe


Shake. Strain. Pour, honey! Drink until there's some swizzle in your stick.

WTF?!? Friday: Sweeney Todd-Style

Wow. WTF?! is nestled inside this leafy lettuce cup?! It's like Mrs. Lovett's mystery meat --- salad. Thanks for this one, Benjamin Barker. It's definitely the demon salad of WTF Friday.

A Wholesome Halloween

Once upon a time, the freaks didn't come out at night. They didn't come out at all. Knee socks, loafers and a smartly carved jack-o-lantern did the trick when it came to treating. Boo to that.

Now head out there and put some happy - or haggard - into someone's Halloween!

Molday Monday Night

In the spirit of All Hallow's Eve, I couldn't resist these gag-inducing individual servings of horror. What's in the genetic make up of these Knox-congealed salads? And what in the hell is the grody garnish? Looks like a dessert only the Crypt Keeper would love...

Freak Show

I'm a freak magnent. Every so [more] often [than not] I find an 'Odd Todd' in my path, wanting to make friends.

Over the past several weeks, I've had a bit of a sideshow when it comes to side items. There is no Mother Teresa in a tortilla, but have a look-see:

[peace, love - and onion rings from ihop]

[bowlegged - or siamese - carrots. straight from the celophane]

What odd edibles have you seen - or tasted?!

Moldy Monday Night

This mold? Looks like it just came up - not like it's about to be sliced, served and headed down the hatch. What makes this bold mold blush?!

Sugar & Spice & Homer Price

This is one of my favorite books:

This is one of my favorite fall comfort foods [served warm & wrapped at our favorite pumpkin patch]:

I wish I had a donut machine that would produce pumpkin donuts like these in Homer Price time. Since I don[u]'t, here's the recipe that helps make treats like these a reality in my family. Sucks to be  you, Krispy Kreme!

Pumpkin Donuts
2 eggs
1 cup sugar
1 cup canned pumpkin
½ cup buttermilk
4 cups flour
2 tablespoons oil
2 teaspoons salt
4 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon nutmeg
½ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon ground ginger
Sugar for coating

Beat eggs and sugar until they are light and fluffy. Add the oil, pumpkin and buttermilk to the egg & sugar mixture. Mix dry ingredients together and add to the main mixture.
Chill for 1 hour. Turn out onto a floured board and roll to ½ inch thickness.
Cut shapes with a donut cutter. Deep fry until golden brown on one side.
Turn over [that's what she said]. Fry until the other side is also golden brown. Strain well and roll in sugar to serve.

Moldy Monday.

I

I think the term, "we go together like peas & carrots" is charming. But peas, carrots, corn, Knox and green onion?! Notsomuch.