Macabre Kitsch.

Every housewife's fantasy.

Every working man's nightmare.

[designed with me in mind]

My friend Dally, midwest resident artist of zombie kitsch, is a little bit Vincent Price & a little bit Vincent Van Gogh. And he sells the demons in his head on cotton t's and onesies. Find his
Art from the Basement on facebook. You'll want to score a quirky serving of his gore.

Summer. Where did yours go?

Mine was spent with my little league infielder.

And my big league chewer.


What have you been up to?

About Face

I hope you haven't been looking down your nose at me during my kitsch hiatus. Especially if you have a honker like these guys Marge & I picked up at the farmer's market last night.

Know how some say, "you're so cute! I could eat your face!"

We did. [the eggplant's - not Marge's]

Cinco

That's about how many beers would go perfectly with these*:& these:

Hope you snuck in a siesta so tonight you may fiesta!

*Cinnamon Crispos
1 pkg carb-heavy tortillas
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup cinnamon
1-2 cups veggie oil

Cut tortillas into wedges. Fry in hot oil [med-high heat] for mere seconds. Drain on paper towel. Fill paper bag with sugar & cinnamon mix; add chips. Shake like a cocktail. Nosh. Chase with ice cold brews!

Kitschen 101

Yesterday was Sparks.
My bi-annual flea market bliss.

After spending 5 beautiful spring hours strolling through "venders" [hey, it's Kansas], we were spent. But not before I spent $5 on this fantastic SRA [remember the reading program, friends?] card choc full of kitsch.

[toes shown to illustrate scale, and a decent pedicure]

I wish I could come home with the whole stack. But this...this will absolutely do.

From Richard, with love

I have been a fan of the iconic Richard Simmons from his groundbreaking Deal-a-Meal infomercial days, through his antics on Letterman's Late Shows, and every cameo in between. Lucky me! Last fall, I got to give him a hug.

[this is not the most flattering shot of either of us, I assume]

Fast forward to our family field trip this weekend, where I happened on The #1 National Bestseller Never-Say-Diet Book for just over a buck. I had to indulge myself.


So, what lies beyond the cover?
Here, let me show you. Richard won't mind. Because his life is an open book.

There are exercises, like this:

[Vowel Stretchers, for your trouble neck and mouth spots, sore from all the chewing]

And this:

[Tootsie Rolls; drop and give Richard 150, from cheek-to-cheek]

And so many more fantastic, tights-and-t-shirt toning and flexing moves that I wish I had time to post them all.

In addition to sage advice [honestly, his straight-shooting circa 1980 is ridiculously relevant still today], Richard offers up recipes that rival those found in any fitness mag:

Yogurt Garlic Dressing
1 cup low-fat plain yogurt
1 teaspoon fresh lime juice
1 minced clove garlic
2 tablespoons parsley, chopped
1 tablespoon chives, chopped
1/2 teaspoon ground pepper
Put all ingredients in a bowl and blend well with a whisk.

Hey, it's how a fella keeps his gams gorgeous from retro to right now!

[Yes, those are Richard's man-t-hose!]

And remember, per Richard, you have all of the ingredients for your own Success Recipe:

Self Love
A Positive Attitude
and Determination

Hey, it's cheesy - but this cheese is low-fat.
Thanks, Richard - love ya from your 'fro to your big toe!

Pipe Dreams

A sky full of sunshine.
And basket full of bubbles.Happy Easter.