Melamine on a Monday

With my mom's help, I've been amassing quite the melamine collection. Last week we got a taste of fall in the Midwest, so I pulled out the cups, dessert plates and bowls and heaped in peaches, cornbread & chili. Here's the view from where I sat:My collection is about 99% Watertown LifetimeWare. Some days we'll spot it at the Bargain Barn for under a buck. Some days it's well over a dollar at an antique mall. To me it's priceless. And colorful, in a magnificently muted sort of way.

Do you have a stack of melamine on your shelf?

Hospital Fare: Get Well Soon

My mom has spent the better part of this week in the hospital having & recovering from a knee replacement. Good news: she's getting well soon. Bad news: as soon as the nausea wore off, they started carting in funky fare tray by tray. Per mom, nearly every breakfast, lunch and dinner display from the cafeteria kitchen includes an item served up in kitschy luxe: on a bed of lettuce.

See for yourself. And guess what's snuggled in the gelatin...

WTF?l? Friday: Bite-sized

WTF are these?!? And would you put one in YOUR mouth?

Busy Lady Bake-Off Brownies

I don't know about you, but I'm one busy lady. So busy, that when I have a craving for something chocolate, gooey and high in every single carbohydrate I can think of, I don't have the time to consider driving through Starbucks for a brownie. Hell no. I've got too much going on. Why, I have to run to the grocery for semi-sweet chocolate pieces, butter, flour, frosting mix, coconut, milk, eggs and salt! I mean, who has the time to pick up a brownie on the run?

Thank goodness that Pillsbury included some of their speedy sweets in The Pillsbury Busy Lady Bake-Off Recipes cookbook (c)'66! What was a gal to do? Rachael Ray and her 30-minute ways wasn't even born yet. Boy did the ladies struggle in the 60s. Talk about women's suffrage! And all this talk is making me hungry for:Coco-Nutty Brownies
{thanks to Mrs. Gerald Prochnow, Milwaukee, Wisconsin - hey, please tell me I'm not the only person who gets a kick out of spelling Milwaukee}

1 cup (6-ounce package) semi-sweet chocolate pieces
1/2 cup Land O'Lakes Butter [I always wonder, does this name offend my Native American friends?]
1 cup [wait for it...] Pillsbury's Best Flour (Regular, Instant Blending* or Self-Rising)
1 package [surprise again!] Pillsbury Two Layer Size Coconut-Almond Frosting Mix**
1/2 cup milk
1 egg
1/4 teaspoon salt

Melt chocolate pieces and butter in medium saucepan over low heat. Remove from heat. Add flour, packet of frosting mix, milk, egg and salt; beat until well blended. Stir in packet of coconut and almonds. Spread in greased 11x17 or 9x9-inch pan. Bake at 350 for 20 to 25 minutes. Cut into squares. Cool.

In all honesty, the flavor is much better than any Starbucks brownie that's passed through my lips [and to my hips]. Even though I had no Pillsbury Two Layer Size Coconut-Almond Frosting Mix [see **] on hand, and I subbed marshmallows, and chemical-laden Bob Greene Best Life "butter," these were a pretty sweet snack. I'd go on and on with adjectives to describe these almost-award winners, but I'm simply too damn busy to bother.

*What in the hell is this?
**WTF is this?

How's Tricks?

How've you been? I hope you'll humor that no news has been good news from me. I squeezed every bit of sun and fun out of summer, and now it has come to a close. School is now in session. Life has a new kind of hectic pace, but one that allows for time to clutter up the kitchen.
Am I back?You bet your sweet Bake-Off I am! Look for a little something later this week...

topless in kc

among countless other end-of-summer experiences that have kept me far, far away from the kitschen, my husband's 40th bday party, a "tomtoberfest" of sorts, was celebrated two weekends ago. and, well, we just had to bake him a totally embarrassing, totally unrelated to the celebration kind of cake. with boobs.

my friend lesley's dad had the guilty, dirty pleasure of one of these topless cakes back in '76 on his 26th bday. my mom said she crafted some itsy-bitsy bikini cakes years ago for the highschool cake walk in '73.

so les & i had to hand over a couple of cupcake tits to tom. it looked a little something like this:
tasteless. tacky. a dirty sort of kitschy. we handed forks around so everyone could help themselves to a piece, if you get my drift. my children are so proud of their parents. and their parents friends.

be back soon. and more refined. promise!

Tipsy Tuesday: More Cowbell

A few of these stiffies would taste great while you're grazing...

Brave Bull
1 oz Brandy
3/4oz Coffee Liqueur

Pour brandy over ice in an old-fashioned glass. Top with coffee liqueur. Drink 'til the cows come home. Then pour them one.