WTF? A Cheese-Frankfurter Loaf

Your wurst [ugh] dreams have come true - I'm about to share Better Homes & Garden's Barbecue Book (c)'65 recipe for Cheese-Frankfurter Loaf with you!

Cheese-Frankfurter Loaf
1/4 cup chopped onion
2 tablespoons butter or margarine
1/2 cup chili sauce
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoon prepared mustard
2 teaspoons brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon celery salt
1 loaf French bread [about 16-18 inches long *insert dirty joke here*]
10 frankfurters, cut in half crosswise

Cook onion in butter till tender but not brown. Add chili sauce and seasonings. Simmer about 10 minutes or till sauce is thick. Here's the idea for cutting the bread [gee, thanks!]: Slices will be 3/4 inch wide and cut crosswise of the loaf. Cut first slice, going almost to bottom crust; cut second slice all the way through [this is rocket science, people]. Continue in same manner the length of loaf. Between the attached slices, spread the sauce, sprinkle in half of cheese, and insert 2 frank halves, letting uncut ends [again, insert dirty joke here] poke out and up at a jaunty angle [jeez, I love phallic 60s humor]. Hide cut ends of franks with remaining cheese.

With long skewer, fasten sandwiches together in a loaf and wrap in aluminum foil. Heat on grill over charcoal till piping. Open the foil and sprinkle sandwiches with additional shredded cheese, if desired. Remove skewer. Serve hot. Makes 10 servings.

Now go find a brew to wash down frank & have a great weekend!

TKIWTFF!

[Thank Kitsch It's What The F*** Friday!]
Obviously, it's the frankfurters that are at fault here.But c'mon, Better Homes & Gardens, WTF?!?

[come back this afternoon for the wtf-ing recipe & reveal]

Sit a spell

I mentioned that my moms & pops brought down a few retro treasures last weekend.
Well sit your azz down for this one.
A stellar Shelby Williams seat.
This chair was practically stolen from the Salvation Army in Nebraska on Thanksgiving weekend. It is the best $5 ever spent. Ever.
It's in pretty pristine condition - so I've become all persnickity about where to place it.

What's a girl to do?
Thrift around for a TV tray, I guess. All the better to eat our meatloaf on whilst sitting on Shelby's lap, right?

See you tomorrow - it's WTF?! Friday eve...

Cooky Love

Okay, so Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow. Ugh. 6 more weeks until so-called spring. The only thing that was going to cheer my household was a batch of valentine cookies. And these yums from the multi-generational tried & true Betty Crocker's New Boys and Girls Cookbook (c)'65 sweetened our sour winter mood - Betty had a stroke of genius when she baked them...

"Did you ever 'paint' a cooky? Well you can with Egg Yolk Paint - as bright and beautiful as any artist's colors. Remember these cookies for something to do on a rainy day." --Betty

Paintbrush Cookies

Mix thoroughly in bowl:
1/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup soft shortening
2/3 cup honey
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla
Stir together in another bowl:
2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon soda
1 teaspoon salt

• Mix these dry ingredients into shortening mixture. Chill dough 1 hour.
• Heat overn to 375. Lightly grease a baking sheet.
• Divide chilled dough into 3 portions.
• On a lightly floured board [beware, you will become majorly floured yourself], roll out dough with floured rolling pin. Roll to 1/4-inch thickness. Cut into different shapes.
• Place on prepared baking sheet. With small paintbrushes paint designs on cookies with Egg Yolk Paint [see below. and see how I f-ed it up*].
• Bake 8-10 minutes. For clear colors, do not let cookies brown.
• Let cookies cool about 2 minutes on baking sheet, then cool on a wire rack.
• Makes about 5 dozen cookies [um, not true - I think we netted 2 dozen, and that's without noshing on raw dough].

Egg Yolk Paint*
Blend well in a small bowl:
1 egg yolk
1/4 teaspoon water

Divide mixture among several small custard cups. Add a different food coloring to each cup to make bright colors. If "paint" thickens, add a few drops of water.

*How I f-ed it up: I had us "paint" the cookies with raw egg yolk AFTER baking them. Have you begun to notice that I'm not one of those read-the-recipe-through-before-you-bake/cook/prepare-a-meal people? Regardless, these cookies are sweet. Literally. The honey is obvious in every bite and the "paint" gives them a stained-glass look. I hope the guardian angels are watching over my kids as they nosh on their tainted cookies this week.

Tipsy Tuesday: Hubba, Hubba Harvey

I'd like you to meet Harvey Wallbanger.Watch out. He's a pretty smooth criminal.

[thx for the pic, goretro!]

Here's how to get your hands on a tall, cold Harvey:
3 Parts Vodka
1 Part Galliano [a sweet, yellow liqueur]
6 Parts Fresh Orange Juice

Stir up vodka & oj, pour the liqueur & let it linger [the Galliano] on top.

[This drink may best be served in a Swinger glass...]

Not Normally Narcissistic...

...but in this case, I am. Totally.

Humor me and cast a vote to get me in Foodista.com's Best of Food Blogs Cookbook this year! I think they could use a little nibble of kitsch, don't you?

Just click right. About. Here. & VOTE for my generational gastro-fabulous family recipe: Uber Kolaches!

Thanks so very - you're an absolute peach!

Bundt Bounty

Hey Stan - this one is for you!
Let it be known [embarrassingly enough] that I didn't own a bundt pan, had never ventured to bake a bundt nor glaze anything - so the challenge was welcome. And the icing on the cake? It was edible. To a fault [as in, it is my fault there is nary a slice left].

I paged through Pillsbury's 4th Grand National $100,000 Recipe and Baking Contest New Cook Book (c)'53 [damn - that title is a mouthful] and merged 2 prize-winning recipes to bring you...Chocolate Mocha Sponge Cake with a Coffee Glaze!
[thanks, Mrs. Marian Splet of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania]
Sift together:
3/4 cup sifted Pillsbury's Best Enriched Flour
1/4 cup of cocoa
Combine:
3 tablespoons water
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup sugar
5 egg yolks. Beat until thick and light.
Fold:
Dry ingredients, one-third at a time, into egg yolk mixture gently but thoroughly.
Beat:
5 egg whites until slight peaks begin to form. Fold carefully into batter with wire whip or large slotted spoon.
Pour:
Into 9-inch ungreased tube pan [I used the bundt, and, damnit - didn't read ahead so I did grease and flour/cocoa the pan - big mistake! You don't grease pans when baking with egg whites, because the shortening keeps the cake from rising --- little did I know].
Bake:
In slow oven [325 degrees] 35 to 40 minutes. Cool.

Glaze:
[I whipped this up of my own design]
Sift together 1 cup sifted confectioner's sugar and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Add 3 tablespoons hot cream and 1 teaspoon instant coffee. Blend and pour over cake. [Resist the urge to eat 'leftover' glaze - it's so tasty that you will over indulge and end up with a hella belly ache. Trust me.]

We invited some friends over for what we called a 'consolation cake.' They are avid [read: purple-bleeding] KSU fans and KU had kicked them to the curb in overtime the night before. Offering them a slice of this decadent [it wasn't too dense, even with the greasing of the pan] cake as a consolation to their loss.