Atomic Appetizer

I've been feasting my eyes on this atomic appetizer idea for a few years -
& I was just a few frilled toothpicks, salty olives and cheese cubes away from achieving it last night!

Houston: what the hell took me so long?

Goblin Girl

Saucer-eyed Goblin Girl will invite smiles -

Try a jack-o'-lantern lass for once! You'll need a round pumpkin with a long stem. Draw zigzag line around top for the hair; cut along line and remove lid. Scoop out contents.
Make eyes with apple corer. Carve out mouth with paring knife. Poke toothpicks into the radish [or hey, a carrot works if you are going for a sober - not Andy Capp drunk - lass] nose from inside the pumpkin. Gently press in upper edge of pumpkin - the "Italian haircut" will stand out when lid's in place. Now tie a wide-ribbon bow on stem.So...how do you like her hair?

Yeah. I was thinking wtf on the mafia coif, too.

Night of the Living Squash

Don't be a square this Halloween and carve a traditional pumpkin. That's so droll.

Instead, implement produce and re-invent one of these psycho squash from Better Homes & Gardens Holiday Cook Book (c) 1959*:Outer-space Man [neighbors will likely question what planet you're from if you carve one]
For this man from Mars, cut V-shaped lid off pumpkin...continue line to form V-shaped eyes, as shown. Place big ripe olives where eyes meet. Cut nose with potato parer. Cut mouth; poke in twisted-macaroni teeth. Ears are carrots, halved lengthwise, fastened with toothpicks. curly carrot tops make hair.

Slap-happy Sam [take a day off work for this one]
Pick a squash and fashion this jolly comic [define jolly]. First cut opening in back of squash - stop stays intact. Scoop out. With apple corer, carve eyes and teeth (easy if you sketch features on first). Finish eyes, mouth with paring knife. For tongue, anchor half a large radish in mouth with toothpick. Cut nose and push piece out slightly at bottom; secure with toothpicks. Makes strands of hair with carrot tops or fluffs of parsley. For jaunty hat: cut a hole in paper coaster and push over stem. Glue an upside-down nut cup atop to form the crown.

Daffy Devil [is this an oxymoron or what? ]
Light a candle inside this pumpkin-head and set in window to greet little "tricksters," or use it to keynote a Fall buffet [or not]. Chose a tall pumpkin. Cut the lid V-shape with the point in front. Remove contents. Cut triangular features as shown. From the eye cutouts, carve flat triangles and pivot slightly in openings so they project for eyelids [what? why? wrong.]; secure with toothpicks. Cut mouth; attach mouth piece with pins or toothpicks to form lower lip [again, wrong]. Attach small leafy celery stalks for eyebrows. Toothpick big carrots in place for horns.

Goblin Girl
...I'm sharpening my knives. Set your kitschen timer for tomorrow.

*with the exception of sarcasm, these detailed, deranged directions are verbatim from bh&g

Ultra. Swank.

You'll rave over this retro site-of-all-sites -

Ultra Swank

It's a fab feast for the vintage-minded. Oh, and I'm a featured contributor this month.

Don't you love my mod modesty?

Vegas on a bun, Baby!

Somebody had to put the 99c shrimp cocktail on a bun.

Luckily BH&G did in their After Work Cook Book [circa '74]. Introducing another retro rave, the -Shrimpwich!
A hearty sandwich for one or two -

• 1 4 1/2oz can small shrimp, drained
• 1 hard-cooked egg, chopped
• 1/4 c mayonnaise or salad dressing
• 1 tablespoon chili sauce
• 1/2 teaspoon instant minced onion
• 1 individual French roll
• Lettuce [my fridge was leaf-barren]

Advance preparation: In small bowl combine shrimp, egg, mayonnaise or salad dressing, chili sauce, and instant minced onion. Cover tightly; chill up to 24 hours.
Before serving: Cut thin slice from top of roll; hollow out. Fill roll with shrimp mixture. Add lettuce. Makes 1 sandwich.

Hmmm...
Okay. Next time I won't go all-in with the canned shrimp. If I want that cocktail feel vs. senior center 'fish Friday' mush, I'm opting for a bag of frozen salad shrimp. And to add the cocktail-ly zip I embellished BH&G's recipe by adding a heaping tablespoon of horseradish. And doubled up on the hard-cooked egg to amp up the texture. This po'man's cocktail would get slots more flavor from the juice of a lemon wedge, too.

The odds are good that I'd give this recipe another go.

Luck, be a hollowed-out-fishy-sandwich tonight!

Kitschy-Kat

I could not believe my good luck when this black cat crossed my path at the thrift store yesterday -
Kitschy. Halloween. Plastic.

3 of my favorite things this time of year!

Come back soon to see what's brewing in the kitschen - I've been paging through the books this weekend...

Capping It Off

Shower caps aren't just for little old ladies who get their hair set every Wednesday at 11a.

They're for your leftovers, too.
I stopped buying wrap by the roll as soon as I spotted these elastic dreams at the dime store.

I'll never be sure if they're 100% disinfected, why with all the nooks and crannies, gathers and pleats, but aren't they sweet? There's just something about looking into the icebox and seeing a cluster of shower caps on the shelves - like a little sauna [okay, polar opposite there] - for your snacks.

So give it up for your granny and your groceries - and cap it off.

[yay me for avoiding condom jokes. it was hard.]