We're back from our whirlwind vaca in CA. Wow. Disneyland really is the happiest place on earth. It may sound corny, but it's true. I was charmed by things old and new, and my family, too.I've been to Disney World [once], and had a swell time. But there's something so much sweeter about playing in the park where the magic happened for the very first time. I couldn't keep my eyes off the original Pirates of the Caribbean [or the new Captain Jack animatronics], and I was happy to hum along all along to It's a Small World, with all of it's retro glitter and glee.Now it's off to put the finishing touches on Margie's birthday tea - she's 4 tomorrow, whee!
You've got Better Homes & Gardens Meals in Minutes (c)'63 to thank for this weeks WTF?!?
Their Grilled Steak Sandwich, started it. You see, they suggest that you grill 1, 1lb 1/4" thick round steak, then cut it in 6 pieces before you, "Dip thick slices of toasty French bread in savory sauce." But if the secret is in the sauce, the secret is out.
Savory Sauce 1/2 cup butter, melted 3 tablespoons bottle steak sauce [oooh, of choice? yep.] 2 tablespoons sliced green onion [oh, now it's got an Asian flair] 1 1/2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce 1/4 teaspoon salt
Heat. Dip toast quickly in sauce; top with steak; spoon on remaining sauce.
Damn. My friends' moms grow the grooviest gardens. Look at this handsome handful of asparagus that came my way last week.After admiring these slim jim dandies, I reached for my veggie bible, Good Housekeeping's Book of Vegetables [to tempt the most reluctant appetites] (c)'58, in search of a spiritual experience.
I didn't quite find it. But I did find an excuse to prep these greenies with cheese and a side of sauteed mushrooms. You see, here's all the GH staff had to offer on the topic of asparagus:
"...Slice fresh asparagus on the bias...or leave it whole. Then cook it quickly in a large covered skillet, with a little butter or margarine, boiling water, and salt. Sprinkle with toasted almonds, crisp bacon bits, grated cheese, lemon juice, sauteed mushroom slices, a little nutmeg [wtf?], or snipped parsley. Or pour on Easy Holandaise, Easy Cheese Sauce or Vinaigrette Sauce or bottled mustard sauce, seasoned commercial sour cream, etc."
Wow. I never would have thought of that. Um, thanks.
Miss Mimi at 1972 Retro Weight Watchers Experiment is in the kitschen today! You're going to get the giggles. And a workout for your gag reflex...
As a 21st century girl following the 1972 Weight Watchers program in order to get back into my "skinny jeans", I don't get many potluck party invitations. For some reason, most people think my Retro WW recipes are scary and disgusting. So when Heidi invited me over to kitschenfeast for a special guest post, I feverishly dug through my Retro WW recipe collection, trying to find the perfect dish to bring. It had to be fabulous. It had to be fancy.
It had to be a giant fish mold.
The Mousse of Salmon(1974 Weight Watchers Recipe Cards - Convenience Fish Category) is one of those dishes that embodies all things Retro WW. It contains ALL of the usual suspects:
knox gelatine
evaporated skim milk
celery
dehydrated onion flakes
pimento
mayonnaise
salmon (of course)
I got started working on my Mousse of Salmon very early in the morning, because I wanted to give myself plenty of time. You see, as my friend Heidi can tell you, constructing a gelatine mold is an art form. A labor of love. And timing is EVERYTHING.I will spare you all the gory details, but this recipe involved partially freezing 1/2 cup of evaporated skim milk; while dissolving the gelatine in boiling water; while whisking lemon juice, onion flakes, Worcestershire, and vinegar into mayonnaise; then whipping the partially frozen milk into submission; and finally folding it all together with the celery and salmon -- all before the gelatine starts to congeal.
I'm not gonna lie to you: it is stressful. But once the entire mixture is safely in the mold, you can simply pop it in the fridge and go about your business. Tra-la-la. That is, of course, until it is time to UNMOLD. My heart always flutters a bit at the moment of un-molding. Maybe it's the fear of failure or the anticipation of greatness. I don't know. But it is all very exciting and a bit nauseating at the same time.
So here it is: the finished product! It's shiny, it's smelly and it's even figure-friendly. In fact, I think I've grown a bit attached to the little guy. Thank you, Heidi, for letting me pop in on you today. You are a most delightful hostess and a one-of-a-kind gal! And many thanks to the fabulous kitschenfeast followers for reading my guest post... enjoy the Salmon Mousse and be sure to stop by and see me over at the 1972 Retro WW Experimentfor more dietetic disasters. Until then-- may all your molds be scrumptious and all your jeans be skinny!
First [and foremost], indeed WTF Friday's repulsive reveal is that of a cheezy meatloaf. Made in a blender, mind you, from Better Homes and Garden's Blender Cook Book. As if meat processing wasn't unsettling enough, some actually opted to blend their meat. Pulse it. Puree it. Oh my.
Secondly, if I seem sporatic - at best - with my posts this week, it's because this is one busy, busy, busy time for my fab little family. On top of Ben's kindergarten promotion, a baseball game, field day, a plucking appointment [ask me about my unibrow project later] and more than I could ever bore you with, we're packing like mules for a whirlwind vaca in CA.
Yep. We're going here. And Oceanside, and Legoland. And that, my friends, makes for one helluva week for me.
So I've asked my new friend Mimi at The Retro WW Experiment to guest blog!! I am so excited to have this cat-eyed, va-va-va-voom and va-va-va-vile [per her recipes] gal over to wine and dine you at KitschenFeast. So if you're counting your calories, count on coming back for a very special Weight Watchers Wednesday!
As promised, here's one more rhubarb recipe for your pucker. A jello-salad that ain't meant to be molded, from my friend's mom's cousin's friend's aunt's granny's garden. Okay, maybe just my friend's mom's.
[don't fear the rhubarb salad - it's more afraid of you than you are of it]
Rhubarb Salad
3 c. rhubarb 1 c. water 1 c. sugar Combine in sauce pan & cook till tender. Remove from heat and add 1 3-oz package of strawberry jello, plus 1- 8oz. can crushed pineapple. Stir until mixed, pour into bowl and refrigerate until cold.
Yum. Although I would NOT suggest using sugar-free jello like I did. WTF was I thinking? Rhubarb always needs a sweet balance. Learn from my mistake. I don't think saving the 30 calories is worth it when it comes to this dessert fit for any ladies' luncheon.
Alright. I have 3 cups of rhubarb left, so I am taking requests for the weekend. Post your favorite fam-friendly [or rude] rhubarb dish by Friday night, and I'll pick one to recreate, so I can see how it's done. Fun!
A good friend put these tarts in my hand earlier this week. Fresh from the garden, and pretty in pink.
It was my due diligence to transform these skinny girls and their pucker into something sweet. So I paid homage to her hometown and baked a batch of her mom's own...Rhubarb Butter Crunch
3 cups rhubarb 1 c. sugar 3 tbs. flour Mix rhubarb, sugar & flour well. Place in a greased 8X8 baking dish and cover with topping of:
1 cup brown sugar 1 cup oatmeal 1 1/2 c. flour and 1/4 cup oleo [damn, I love that word, but my ass doesn't] Combine the topping ingredients & sprinkle over rhubarb mixture. Bake at 370 for 40 min.Wow. I'd venture a guess that your fam has a recipe a lot like this, tattered and sticky [because it's so damn good] in the front of the recipe box. If it tastes this good [like a sweetart for adults] then I'm demanding you start stalking rhubarb at the farmer's market this weekend. I loved it [it brought back some titty pink memories, my granny had rhubarb bushes in the backyard and they did everything from pies to crisps to salads & jams] and the kids raved over it, too [I think the coolwhip helped, but a spoonful of fluff brings out the best in a dessert as far as Ben & Marge are concerned]. My only complaint? It was too small. I'd triple the batch!
Tomorrow I've got a rhubarb salad to share, so pucker up!
My mom was in my great granny & grandpa's town [honestly, considering the population hovers around 200 people, it's more of a village] just a matter of days ago, and she snapped a some pretty pictures of their little pink house. It's in fine form and even sports this sweet, simple birdhouse that 'old grandpa' [that's what we called him] built for the neighboring birds. Enjoy. And may many happy mother's day memories come your way today.
Here's the recipe for the funky, festive meat dish featured on Friday from Better Homes & Gardens Cooking With Herbs and Spices (c)'67:
Flank Steak Teriyaki 1 recipe Ginger Marinade [stay tuned] 4 to 6 flank steak pinwheels [I guess the butcher has these all swirled and dizzy at the meat counter?] 4 to 6 pineapple slices
Pour Ginger Marinade over meat and marinate 1 to 1 1/2 hours [you thought I was going to say 4 to 6, didn't you?]. Broil 4 to 5 [gotcha!] inches from heat 7 minutes, brushing once with marinade. Turn and broil 5 to 7 minutes longer, brushing once with marinade. Add pineapple slices to boiler during last 3 to 4 minutes; brush with marinade [man, this is the groundhog's day of marinades]. Serve with rice.
Ginger Marinade Combine 1 tablespoon salad oil, 1/2 cup soy sauce, 1/4 cup sugar, 2 tablespoons sherry [+ 1 for mama], 1 teaspoon ginger, 1 clove garlic (crushed), and 1/2 teaspoon monosodium glutamate [that delishy chemical combination of wtf ingredients created in a lab one night in the 40s].
This is one WTF?!? that sounds pretty Fing good! ;)
I'll let you do the guesswork on this swirl of mystery meat...It might be mighty enough to pull you from the carnivore to the herbivore side. Find out this weekend...
Southern Comfort's Happy Hour Bar Guide [I'm guessing circa '69] is anything but comforting. It's creepy.
First, it's the giant head of our hostess:Then it's the giant drinks being served at her various venues:Just think of how huge their hangovers are going to be, or their tolerance levels are.
I can't lie. I took German in high school. I don't know uno from dos and my Spanglish is pretty broken. But I celebrated Cinco de Mayo [and my cat Oona's birthday] today/night with a bigass bowl of guacamole! Funny, but I couldn't locate a recipe in any of my cookbooks from the 'feast library. Here's what I smashed together for my get together:
Guacamole 6 avocados, gutted 2 limes, squeezed 1 tablespoon salt
Mash and nosh with chips!
Ole my friends, ole [can you tell I've got a few glasses of sangria under my belt?]!
A few of these cocktails [that are almost as good as the Keebler cookie] and you'll be bouncing off the walls - [This giddy, guzzle-it-inducing image is from a Birthday Bar Book I picked up this weekend for a quarter - check out the grody thought-for-the-day; "The grasshopper receives auditory impulses through his stomach." Cool science stat. Not the coolest party starter.]
Grasshopper 2/3 jigger green creme de menthe 2/3 jigger white creme de menthe 2/3 jigger creme Shake well with ice and serve in champagne glass.
And try to keep your mind off the insects auditory impulses. Just try.
I came close to busting my budget of $20 last Sunday in Sparks. But I didn't. Feast your eyes on my lawn - full of dusty, divine treasures from the trailers, tables and tents of Kansas: [vintage gift wrap, cards & stationary, paint-by-numbers rose print, fab frames, grand ge clock, boozy recipe books, pretty pink hinged tissue box & the like]
There was also this amazing lady with the best. tent. ever. She's been buying up old carnival prizes and gumball machine goodies. My friend Mandy walked out with enough cracker jack-y charms to fill two bracelets! I also scored these fun tiles to spell out the kids' names and a neat-o candle holder for birthday & special occasion cupcakes:This may come as no surprise - but I've got a little [believe me, it'll be bitty] etsy shop up my sleeve. Stay tuned this summer when I'll share my stash!
My friend Mandy & I will be HERE tomorrow. Celebrating her birthday at a fabulous flea market fiesta! I can't wait to drag my old-school, old-lady cart through the miles of aisles at one of the country's top markets. The last time we went to Sparks, I bought all of this for way less than $20...Yes. YEs. YES! Bring it on. And hey, will I see you there?
What would you do if a friend handed you a dozen of these fabby farm-fresh fellas?I baked a cake. From the Family Circle Cake & Cooky Cookbook (c)'53. One with a beautiful blueberry base. And a luxe lemony topping. And the aide of Betty [in a box].
Blueberry Cake [Makes 1 square cake, 9x9x2] 1 cup washed fresh blueberries 1 tablespoon flour [I sweetened the deal with confectioner's sugar instead] 1 package white or yellow cake mix [I kept it pure with a white mix]
1. Coat blueberries with flour [nah! confectioner's sugar.] 2. Mix batter according to directions on package of mix; fold in berries. 3. Bake and cool in square cake pan, 9x9x2, according to directions on package. 4. Cut in squares; serve warm with Fluffy Lemon Sauce Fluffy Lemon Sauce [Makes 2 1/4 cups sauce] 1/2 cup sugar 3 tablespoons cornstarch 1 cup water Grated rind of 1/2 lemon 1 egg [from a local, loved chicken!], separated
1. Combine sugar and cornstarch in small saucepan; stir in water and lemon rind and juice. 2. Cook over low heat, stirring constantly, until mixture is very thick and clear and boils 1 minute. 3. Beat egg yolk slightly in small bowl. 4. Stir about 1/2 cup hot lemon mixture into yolk; return to saucepan. 5. Cook, stirring constantly, 1 minute. 6. Beat egg white until stiff but not dry; fold into sauce; serve hot over cake.
Okay, so maybe the labor intensity of the 'Fluffy Sauce' trumps the ease of the cake. But it's a wash that is so worth it! This is one super-duper spring cake, suitable for potlucks, card parties, brunches or a housewarming nosh [we did partake in cake at my sister-in-law's new digs last night]. Turn on the oven this week and turn out your own Blueberry Cake.
I'd love to use my wit in words for you! With years of marketing and copywriting experience equivalent to a baker's dozen, I've likely got a recipe for smart copy that will win over even your biggest business critic. E-me at kitschenfeast@hotmail.com
Macabre Kitsch
[original humor & original art by my friend dally]
![I [heart] Betty](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yyKGIn3hxag/SvSRjU4RNuI/AAAAAAAAAOE/LUUPw_OWK1I/S150/heidi+%26+betty+004.JPG)
We're back from our whirlwind vaca in CA. Wow. Disneyland really is the happiest place on earth. It may sound corny, but it's true. I was charmed by things old and new, and my family, too.
I've been to Disney World [once], and had a swell time. But there's something so much sweeter about playing in the park where the magic happened for the very first time. I couldn't keep my eyes off the original Pirates of the Caribbean [or the new Captain Jack animatronics], and I was happy to hum along all along to It's a Small World, with all of it's retro glitter and glee.
Now it's off to put the finishing touches on Margie's birthday tea - she's 4 tomorrow, whee!
![Scribe 4 Hire [break the marketing mold]!](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_yyKGIn3hxag/S65yKixYT-I/AAAAAAAAAq0/ldoJlyWBdXg/S210/mold+005.JPG)
![I [Heart] My Aprons](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_yyKGIn3hxag/S0UQlzfeOrI/AAAAAAAAAa0/k3Y5kFBAW_Q/S210/flirty.+aprons+027.JPG)
![I [heart] Dolce](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5LmMkjDWTrfnN97sfJy5ep6e-UtNebB_vQT3g5XHWiGIwj2Wop04K6CSr1WWygWzoq74MzXuijdghuc-d6eVPc686vJBQZ_UbMdhcMho0iDOtvVioJk46c77Jm6zD1DHC3CbcTmpr9S8/s210/easybake.jpg)
