BH&G's Skinny on Staying Slim

I've got a secret. I wish I was one of those skinny types. Little did I know this whole training-at-the-gym thing was overrated. I could simply be eating my favorite waistline-friendly technicolor treats, once I confirmed that I was on the road to "reduction." Thanks, Better Homes and Gardens, for Eat and Stay Slim (c)'68.Not one to keep knowledge to myself, I'm sharing a few of my favorite excerpts from BH&G's lettuce and cottage cheese infused book. Even if the chances of abiding by it are slim to none. First, find out if you're a candidate for reduction, by checking for "telltale bulges." How?

• Stand erect, sink your chin into your chest and look downward. If you can't see your toes without craning your neck, you have something to lose.
• Tense your abdominal muscles as if someone were aiming a blow at you. While doing this, press your fingertips over your midriff. If the fat pad over underlying muscles feels soft and cushiony, you could spare some of it. A physically fit person [read: not you, fatty] should be able to feel the hardness of tensed muscles and even see a nice muscular ripple or two.
• Try the "pinch test," it gives another clue to excess fat. Lie flat, relax, dig thumb and finger into a fatty area, and pinch. This gives a gauge to the thickness of fat over muscle.

Now that you literally feel fat, think about feeling the burn. Luckily, BH&G has done the math, translating the calorie burn from what I can only assume is their top 9 list of familiar foods that made you fat in the first place. Know now, that when you are noshing on these 9 [okay 8] naughty eats you can eas-il-y burn the calories later with a 3.5 mph walk in mere [well, more like mega] minutes:

1. Large apple [2o min]
2. 2 slices of bacon* [18 min]
3. Glass of beer* [22 min]
4. Doughnut* [30 min]
5. Boiled egg [15 min]
6. Hamburger* [70 min]
7. Apple pie (1/6 pie)* [75 min]
8. Ice cream soda* [50 min]
9. Soft drink* [20 min]

Okay. It's obvious now why there were many inches to pinch in the 60s. But what a lively lifestyle they led! Time well spent putting beer and doughnuts before sneakers.

*totally worth it!