Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Hard Knox

Well, now that you mention it - after trailing this skinny dame for blocks, I suppose I could stand to lose a few f*&#@*g pounds. Thanks.

Paging through one of my retro books a few weeks back, this dandy fell in my lap. Maybe it was a sign. I did enjoy one [way] too many brews on the deck with my gent this summer. It was worth a look, right?

Was it ever. The good people at Knox Gelatine had a plan. And it went a little something like this:
Drink a "sneak snack" 3 times daily!

Cold: Empty 1 envelope of Knox Gelatine in 1/2 cup of orange juice, other fruit or vegetable juices or water, not iced. Stir briskly. Drink quickly. [...because your intestine does not double as a jello mold]

Hot: Sprinkle 1 envelope of Knox Gelatine on 1/4 cup cold water to soften. Add 1 bouillon cube and 3/4 cup boiling water. Stir until gelatine and bouilon cube are thoroughtly dissolved. 3/4 cup of any very hot broth or coffee may be used in place of bouillon. [...take that, starbucks]

The "Protein Booster": Use instant nonfat milk and mix 1 envelope Knox Gelatine with 1/3 cup milk powder. Fill with cold water. Stir briskly until milk is dissolved. Drink quickly. [Remember those cement mixer shots in college? A kin to the "Protein Booster," no doubt]

Oh, and one more thing. If you really want to lose weight, per Knox, you're going to have to exercize.Don't fret. Knox's personal trainer has illustrated all the right moves to make your abs, thighs, arms, legs and back feel the burn and tighen up what the gelatine might have missed.

I prefer to watch my wiggle, thankyouverymuch.


  1. Does the book tell you what the knox is supposed to do?

  2. I am sure glad that it isn't hard like Fort Knox. Don't "Knox" it 'til you try it, right? Since all this retro stuff is coming back, you might be way ahead of all of us.

  3. This...

    "...because your intestine does not double as a jello mold"

    Than again, you know it just might.

  4. hmmmm I think I have been doing everything wrong up until now. Thanks Knox, I always new gelatin was the cure!

  5. You know, I've I'm going to have a - ugh - "sneak snack" - why not make it a cookie?

    And that little stick figure trainer lady is altogether too happy. Sort of like the women on the 80s The Firm tapes, but with less muscle tone, obviously.

  6. yep. i agree. if i'm going to sneak a snack - it's def not going to be gelatinous!