Hard Knox

Well, now that you mention it - after trailing this skinny dame for blocks, I suppose I could stand to lose a few f*&#@*g pounds. Thanks.

Paging through one of my retro books a few weeks back, this dandy fell in my lap. Maybe it was a sign. I did enjoy one [way] too many brews on the deck with my gent this summer. It was worth a look, right?

Was it ever. The good people at Knox Gelatine had a plan. And it went a little something like this:

Drink a "sneak snack" 3 times daily!

Cold: Empty 1 envelope of Knox Gelatine in 1/2 cup of orange juice, other fruit or vegetable juices or water, not iced. Stir briskly. Drink quickly. [...because your intestine does not double as a jello mold]

Hot: Sprinkle 1 envelope of Knox Gelatine on 1/4 cup cold water to soften. Add 1 bouillon cube and 3/4 cup boiling water. Stir until gelatine and bouilon cube are thoroughtly dissolved. 3/4 cup of any very hot broth or coffee may be used in place of bouillon. [...take that, starbucks]

The "Protein Booster": Use instant nonfat milk and mix 1 envelope Knox Gelatine with 1/3 cup milk powder. Fill with cold water. Stir briskly until milk is dissolved. Drink quickly. [Remember those cement mixer shots in college? A kin to the "Protein Booster," no doubt]

Oh, and one more thing. If you really want to lose weight, per Knox, you're going to have to exercize.Don't fret. Knox's personal trainer has illustrated all the right moves to make your abs, thighs, arms, legs and back feel the burn and tighen up what the gelatine might have missed.

I prefer to watch my wiggle, thankyouverymuch.